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T - Broads Hate That. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It! Constipated people don't give a crap. If you drink, don't park--accidents cause people. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? My kid got your honor roll student pregnant. To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing. If at first you don't succeed...blame someone else and seek counseling. If you can read this, I've lost my trailer. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me. The Earth Is Full - Go Home. I Have The Body Of A God......Buddha. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away? The Face Is Familiar, But I Can't Quite Remember My Name. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere. If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong... Fight Crime: Shoot Back! Necrophillia: That uncontrollable urge to crack open a cold one. Boldly going nowhere Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship. 5 days a week my body is a temple. The other two, it's an amusement park. Alcohol and calculus don't mix. Never drink and derive. Cards for NOT SO GOOD relationships Cards for the "not so good" relationship! LOL Body: I know how to push all my wife's buttons ... now if I could only find the one marked OFF! I must admit, you brought religion in my life. I never believed in hell until I met you. Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can'

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